Let’s go to the mailbag and dish out some advice, shall we?
This mail arrived through the intertubes this weekend … let’s see if we can’t pool our resources to send NP off in the right direction ~
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One of my friends, ‘Pat’, has recently begun racing bicycles. Pat is no stranger to competitive sports: Pat competed for several years on the US Pro Mini Golf Circuit before being sidelined for carpal tunnel syndrome and then went on to compete quite successfully on the USA Broomball circuit. Most pro b-ballers move to Canada but even after the past presidential election Pat was unwilling to move to north to Canada (brr!).
Now Pat has only been racing for a couple of years now but has progressed far enough and quickly enough to now consider racing in a couple of NRC and similar events. Someone needs to fill out the laughing group, eh?
The prospect of riding in these larger races has Pat now re-evaluating life.
Pat is, simply put, a born again hippy. You know the type: vegetarian, doesn’t watch TV, doesn’t own a car, “Give Peace a Chance”, and eats food that is so organic it still has dirt and all. And sometimes, only sometimes, some California weedy roughage.
Think Ricky Williams and Ross Rebagliati.
So should Pat eschew the entire born-again lifestyle and take on the ‘merican, corporate, processed lifestyle? Or should Pat put aside the budding roadie career and refocus Grasshopper, DFL (and similar) series?
Pat thanks you in advance for your advice.
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The problem with roadies is that they are really only a step to the left of triathletes. I mean, how many conversations with a cyclists have you had where the topic was NOT chained to 2-wheels?
… rare and treasured when they occur, i’m sure.
The problem with the DFL/grass’d up crowd is … honestly, some of them just don’t shower enough. I mean, it’s sort of like going to the climbing gym, you know? It can be a bit fun, monkeying around on ropes and adjusting oneself constantly in that diaper’d harness … but, sometimes those fellow gym rats can be quite ripe, if you know what i mean.
I’m not saying doing the doobie detracts from one’s ability to clean one’s self … i mean, trust me ~ a nice long hot shower after a scoobysnack of Cali’ Roughage can be one of the highlights of a day.
BUT, i wonder if sometimes there isn’t a correlation between going green and staying clean. Maybe they just forget to sniff theyselves? dunno.
if you can do an NRC road race on the plant, and do well enough to get tested by the Fed’s … i say, lay claim to that status with pride. Because if there’s one thing I can tell you fo’ sho ~ the herb ain’t no enhancer when it comes to bike racing. Now, when it comes to fuckin’ … well, that’s a whole different story.
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