• Lance Stories From the Peanut Gallery

    by  • February 18, 2011 • norcal scene, too random • 3 Comments

    I forgot that my biggest YouTube hit starred Lance!

    My personal favorite was sent in by Roman. Any story that starts out…”Floyd and I were taking turns attacking…” is a winner in my books. It’s got everything… Floyd, Lance, and a scandal. I think Roman might have been on a different intellectual plane when he chastised him for his water use policies.

    At the 2009 Tour of the Gila, Floyd and I were taking turns attacking up a long climb in the middle of the race. We were doing this mostly to harrass the Livestrong kids who were on the front riding for Armstrong and company. As I was coming back to the field I rode next to Lance. Clearly irritated with us he said “you better save your matches for later in the race.” Remembering that I had read something like this: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/966534/lance_armstrong_is_top_residential.htmlI responded, “you should learn to save your water.”

    He gave me a confused look and said nothing. Later Floyd told me that Lance approached him after the race to explain what I meant.

    Garrett Totally missed out on a free helmet at the 2001 TDF. I wouldn’t mind having a Lance helmet. Or a lance sock.

    In 2001, I took a bicycle tour that followed the Tour de France. For the TT from Grenoble to Chamrousse, I was at the point where the course transitioned from gentle rollers to a long uphill. This is where some of the riders took off their TT helmets. When Lance took his off, he held it out toward me, hoping I would grab it. I was too busy taking a photo to comply, so another spectator 10 yards up the road got it. Here is the photo I took:
    Lance Armstrong 2001

    A longer version of this story is here:

    Nick’s story totally sum’s up the younger brash Armstrong, who would later go on to date Mary Kate, Ashley, and Sheryl crow. The moral of his story… 7 beers, trumps 7 tours.

    1992 Olympic Trials in Altoona, PA.

    After the trials were all said and done, me and my friend went to a local bar to swig back a beer or two, but came upon a small confrontation before I could get to the beer.

    The door at the bar was guarded by the cliche mullet-head, Poison t-shirt wearing local who was in an argument with a wanna-be patron. That that wanna-be patron was Lance, screaming, “Don’t you know who I am?! Don’t you know who I am?!” Mullet-man’s response was in accordance with the law, and and aligned with the Lance’s level of fame in 1992, which was, “No, I don’t know who you are, and it doesn’t matter because you’re only 20 so you can’t come in.”

    Clearly Lance’s ego back then was destined for greatness, even though at the time that greatness was not recognized by mullet-man.

    One way or another, he went on to win 7 Tours, but I got into that bar that night and had nearly 7 beers.



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    Former NorCal resident now residing in Madison,Wisconsin. I race cross, but I'm named after a velodrome. Support your local bike shop, NorCal race promoters, and go learn to race on a track. Hellyer Velodrome - http://www.ridethetrack.com


    3 Responses to Lance Stories From the Peanut Gallery

    1. HERNANDO!!!
      February 18, 2011 at

      i don’t know what i love more … Dan’s yawn, or Ted’s belgian disdain for the losers.

      so choice.

    2. Adam
      March 10, 2011 at

      I dumped a beer on him at Cross Vegas and yelled, “Welcome to Cross Frenchie!”

    3. HERNANDO!!!
      March 10, 2011 at


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