• SoCal Crazy: Regions Part I

    by  • March 16, 2011 • norcal scene, too random • 9 Comments

    socalThis is a multipart series, maybe – if i feel motivated, on why NorCal is better than other regions in the US for cycling. Why be that way? Cause that’s how I’m wired.

    After and odd post smacking Hernando from an LA rider this weekend i got the idea that we should discuss the lands that interlopers come from since it seems to inform their personalities – example below of “Agro LA” rider.

    Sorry Hernando, who do you race for? Will we see you on the NRC circuit? Thanks for the team diss. My teammates [name] and [name] raced brilliantly on Sunday. Metromint was a shambles and they weren’t smothering anybody trying to bring the gap down, but other people were doing that work. Mr. Reporter, where do you get your facts?

    crazyAside from calling Hernando “MR. REPORTER” which is hilarious regardless of intention – it reminded me that people from LA are crazy. Sure…they are talented, creative, and good with money, but they are crazy. They are like the relationship you had when you were 26 that could have gone somewhere, but the other person was so crazy that despite the good times, you just can’t handle staying up till 3 AM in the morning explaining why you decided not to record American Idol, and how it was not a personal attack, and how since this is the 10th time this has happened in the last month this relationship has to end. All people from LA are like that. Sure i generalize but it’s true…crazy, crazy, crazy.

    Case in point…

  • 1. Lindsay Lohan
  • 2. Charlie Sheen
  • 3. Paris Hilton
  • 4. Michael Ball
  • 5. Christopher Thompson
  • rockThe scene just seems nutty. Office park crits with big money, and indoor track with no riders, angry drivers, angry riders, the most bizarre pro team of all time (Rock Racing), it’s like somebody picked up NYC from 1985, dipped it in Las vegas from 1994, added a little raz-ma-taz and dropped it in California. To top it off some how SLO get’s dumped into SoCal district which just seems wrong. LET THEM FREE SOCAL! LET SLO GO FREE!



    disneyStill, for some reason, i like LA. I can’t help it. The mountains, weather, and ocean are awesome. The track is awesome, and while the crits suck ass, the surrounding areas host some of the best stage races in the country (San Dimas, and Redlands.)

    And goddamn if this doesn’t always happen. Every time i try to rip on LA i end up defending it. Look at the cool stuff and people down there…

  • 1. Dorthy Wong – She organizes everything cross, road, teams. I think LA (i use this to describe everything down below the belt) would melt without her.
  • 2. Alfred Nash – He’s the most organized track promoter/guru out there. He should move to Hellyer. He’d be happier.
  • 3. Disney Land – Happiest. Place. On. Earth.
  • 4. Jen See – Best writer on women’s cycling (and doping) that I have read this year. See her stuff on Podiumcafe.com under pen name Gavia.
  • 5. TOC Mt. Baldy Finish: That should be a rock star like euro party.
  • Now… this doesn’t mean i think it’s worth moving for. The epicenter is still here, in NorCal, and I think folks crazy enough to live in that plastic zone should move to where the real scene is…here in NorCal. However… i appreciate that Socal might appeal to a certain personality type that secretly yearns to be discovered and put in an episode of Hellcats.  .



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    Former NorCal resident now residing in Madison,Wisconsin. I race cross, but I'm named after a velodrome. Support your local bike shop, NorCal race promoters, and go learn to race on a track. Hellyer Velodrome - http://www.ridethetrack.com


    9 Responses to SoCal Crazy: Regions Part I

    1. blake
      March 16, 2011 at

      ohhh how I wish we in SLO were norcal and not slocal. I can’t say ‘hella’ and get away with it…. And the horrible stereotyping we get from the rest of the country because we are considered socal. Sigh.

    2. Matt
      March 16, 2011 at

      Uh, Hellyer…that was a pretty tepid offering….I guess it’s a series now?

    3. March 16, 2011 at

      Blake – you guys need to secede. Get all General Lee on that SoCal power structure.

      Matt – just say it. It was a tepid offering. Trying to couch it with “pretty tepid” just weakens your point. Actually I have no idea wtf your talking about. What are you talking about?

    4. Matt
      March 17, 2011 at

      Where’s the drama? The callouts? The challenge a la the NorCal/SoCal cross showdown? THE LIST…(?). I dunno really…just had some free time and like to ramble I guess. Oh and I want to read rounds 2, 3, and 4 (Northwest, CO, East Coast, etc)…

    5. sluggo
      March 17, 2011 at

      Sometimes crazy is good. Makes you appreciate the lack of it in your own life.

    6. March 17, 2011 at

      Challenging SoCal is like picking on a kindergartener. Just not worth it. I think of them as a crazy ex who i remember fondly for all the good times. Sluggo gets it. If i really went for the heart and talked about juiced up crit riders i could start war. And i love to ramble.

      Now… when i get to Portland/Seattle… thats worth some smack talk.

    7. luke binder
      March 17, 2011 at

      After living in SLO for 4 months I still can’t decide if it should be called SoCal or NorCal. A lot of the SLOcals consider themselves CentralCal.

      Can’t we just agree that the state of California is awesome?

    8. Bernie
      March 17, 2011 at

      SoCal has the best plastic surgeons in the world. Who isn’t for making the world go away just a little more beautiful. We need more Barbies and Kens. NorCal has plenty of ugly, maybe we can devise a barter system of some sorts.

      Hellyer, go for it. Ramble on.
      I say more crit-juicers here. You can smell it like Robert Duvall on the beach when you’re at a crit here in the early morning, it smells like……

    9. Bernie
      March 17, 2011 at

      go away should have went away. so sorry.

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