USA Cycling Olympic Sprint program manager confirmed that he was moving the program from LA, which is home of the only UCI approved indoor track in the US, to the bay area which is home of the fabled Hellyer Velodrome. It will not be the first time international competition brushes with Hellyer Velodrome which was originally built in the 60’s for a failed Pan American games bid.
“I need to do something to shake up the program!” Staff told reporters after his Olympic sprint team placed 12th out of 16 teams at the recent World Track Championships. “LA has made these boy soft. They worry about their hair and speed suits more than going fast. Northern California has a long history of producing world calibre athletes. I think a little bike messengering in San Francisco, and riding in the rain at Hellyer Velodrome is just what the doctor ordered to toughen the lads up, and get them ready for London.”
Staff was brought on by USA Cycling after the UCI dropped several track endurance events in favor of the higher speed sprint events, which are believed to be easier to explain on television more enjoyable for spectators. Great Britain and Australia currently dominate track events at the World Cup level, leaving their english speaking counterparts in the US and Canada scratching their heads like lemurs at a gorilla zoo.
When asked about the pending move USA Cycling CEO Steve Johnson expressed visible disappointment. “I so don’t care anymore. We hired Jamie thinking we could at least get into the top 5, but 12th? We have fallen down so badly on this front that the US produces better bobsled teams than sprinters. What is up with that? I’m a laughing stock at the USOC meetings. I might ask some of those bobsledders to give cycling a try if we don’t see some improvement. I might just try and get Mike McCarthy or Harvey Nitz to make a comeback.”
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