• Things @LanceArmstrong Wouldn’t Do

    by  • May 25, 2011 • euroNews, norcal scene • 0 Comments

    I feel like people are being so harsh with Lance Armstrong (Google Ranking genius term for cycling blogs.)  Look…if you didn’t know he was doing something different before you are naive, and if you don’t believe it now you are probably thinking that vaccines turn you into a zombie.  He’s really not a bad guy… he’d never do any of these things…

    5. Push a little italian dude in a sprint, those are some cute little sprinters!

    4. He would not kick a puppy.  He might eat it for protien, but he would not kick a puppy.

    3. Get with the other Olsen twin (Mary Kate.)  That would be weird and he doesn’t have anything to prove.

    2. Enter one of those Ironman triathlons.  Everybody knows triathletes are total losers.

    1. Be jealous of Ashton Kutcher or Justin Bieber over their massiver Twitter followings.  Kutcher’s into old ladies, and Bieber is Canadian.  They got built in followings… you can’t compete with that.

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    Former NorCal resident now residing in Madison,Wisconsin. I race cross, but I'm named after a velodrome. Support your local bike shop, NorCal race promoters, and go learn to race on a track. Hellyer Velodrome - http://www.ridethetrack.com

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