• Redlands … Mega and NerdBoy defend huge

    by  • March 23, 2012 • norcal scene, race coverage, womyn on weels

    Since there’s a 100% chance of downpour from SF to Santa Cruz tomorrow … i better slam out a post tonite …. just in case my puss flairs up and i ditch the drench tomorrow.

    Next Spring Classic --- April 21st!

    i know Murphy will castrate my biscuits if i miss it, though.


    REDLANDS 2012 – Rise of the Coolios

    VeloPoo highlighted Redlands this year with no mention of current riders, but a cute little homage to the race of a decade ago.  Well done, Bicycling Magazine!

    err… i mean the ‘supposed’ racing publication of these united states of aMErica.

    Megan Guarnier not only defended her leader’s jersey … she padded her gap over the American Icon, Amber Neben, with a wickedly timed, perfectly executed lap 1 sprint bonus.  But NOW’s Alison Powers also grabbed a time bonus, moving within a second of Neben, and remaining within stabbing distance of Guarnier.

    Team TIBCO had suffocated all breakaway attempts on lap 1, and it was only after Guarnier’s superb sprint that the first legitimate break went up the road.  The brutal, grueling Beaumont Stage of the Redlands Classic would see it’s first significant break by NorCal and NOW‘s Beth Newell, after she’d counter her indomitable teammate and Canadian Bacon, Anne Samplonius‘s attack early in lap 2.

    Newell would drive hard mile after mile, but would be caught on the KOM by a rapidly shredding peloton.  The climbing on the Beaumont stage isn’t your alpine sit and spin … it’s punchy and jagged, like the chip-seal So-Cal pavement that sucks not only your wheels into the ground, but your motivation.

    Lap 2 would see massive attacks on the climb, and half the field would be left gasping and gaping at the wounds inflicted.  Vanderkitten’s squad wouldn’t be decimated by the climbing … but instead by what appears to be a serious bout of illness.  Details are being sought twittered … but, VK’s squad would be halved by the end of the stage.  But VK wasn’t alone in losing riders – and the final two stages of Redlands will see only NOW and Optum Health with full squads remaining.

    Team TIBCO would rally for lap 3, with Lindsay Myers, Lauren Hall, Amanda Miller and all the baby blues  just flat out destroying themselves to keep the attacks at bay.  But they would get some help in the final miles with Exergy going to the front to pull back yet another solo launch by Beth Newell (what up, trackie!), who would hit out again on lap 3.  But it would be Pascale Schnider and the ExerGals who would press the pace for TIBCO and bring back Newell as the the world would go ballistic into the final KOM.

    Amber Neben would THROW DOWN … on that final lap, but it was all for not.   TIBCO wasn’t going to be denied, and they put the screws to anything in spandex to keep Megan at the sharp end of the race.  TIBCO got some help from NOW, when Newell, after being chased down and then recovering as best she could, did her own domestique duties by trying to keep it fast and furious in the final 5 miles  … hoping to keep it together for NOW’s Alison Powers to take another time bonus and jump ahead of Neben.  But Newell would stay on the front too long – an error born of tactical youth, but also immense strength after being off the front for hardwoman sections of the race.

    that’s power.  that’s desire.

    but i’m biased.

    Attacks would go left and right, surges would gobble and puke … and a chaotic sprint would rush into Beaumont proper, with a desperate Joelle Noumainville trying to keep the Lulu rider, Loren Rowney at bay.  Rowney would take the sprint clear and away, with Guarnier, Neben, and Powers remaining the top-3 in GC heading into tomorrow’s vicious criterium.

    Time bonuses will be contested!  But … this race will come down to the classic, awe-full Sunset Loop circuit race.  Folks … it’s gonna be suh-weet.


    GAIMON on top … of some pretty big shoulders

    The men’s race was 120miles long, and full of piss and vinegar.  The Kenda/5-Hour boys were a well-disciplined and impressively talented squad that defended Gaimon’s GC lead like they were bred for it.

    They were even able to move Andy J-M up a spot in GC through his breakaway effort and time bonuses.  NorCal stalwarts Roman Kilun, Paul Mach, and the big engine Nate English were integral in pounding away, mile after mutha’fukkin mile … keeping breakaways in check, and smashmouthing any pretenders.

    Phil Gaimon now has two leaders jerseys out of two American stage races for 2012 … i can’t imagine what he’s setting his sights on next.  Probably a decent pursuit on the track … because last time i saw him try it, it was like watching a gopher hump a garden hose.  UG-LY.

    But when it comes to going uphill … get the hell out of this boy’s way.  Gaimon has the gas, the guts, and the brainbucket to calculate enough ferocity-unleashed to match, swing for swing, all the heavy punchers at this year’s Redlands race.  The criterium is nothing but candy for these fellas.  They’ll sweet tooth themselves some fun tomorrow, and then let loose the hounds on Sunday.

    can’t frickin wait.  wish i was there.


    PS: about half the field of men’s racers were dinged with pee-fines for slipping out the whippets for nature breaks.  Apparently, MetroMinty Lisa Mueller has some inside scoop on the boybadness … but, she’s not sharing with the interwebs.

    She’ll pay for withholding the sauce!



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